Welcome To The Third World
If you recently watched the presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump, you might have picked up on the fact that some people in America- a former First World country- feel as though their country is basically a third world country.
Now the old Bev would have been annoyed because anyone who has lived, visited or even stepped foot into a third world country will tell you that America is not one. Old Bev would have felt annoyed that the term Third World had evolved from merely being a term used to describe recently independent countries during the Cold War to being used to describe “poor” and less developed countries. But hey, words change all the time.
But that Bev is gone. This one is light and fluffy and finds humor in every moment.
I began to see the way in which these so-called First World countries were slowly changing into Third World countries. The corruption scandal at FIFA almost made Nigeria look like a beginner in corruption. The finessing of the people in the United Kingdom by Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson made Kenyan politicians seem like novices in this game called politics. And who could forget Donald Trump, his statements make Jacob Zuma’s comment about showering after sex to avoid HIV, look like words of wisdom from Socrates.
The behaviors that Western countries have shown are looking more and more African, and as we all know Africa is the home of Third world countries.
Since I am a kind and generally amazing person, I have decided to give some tips to the citizens of these First World countries that have found themselves in Third World countries. I know it can be a bit of a shock at first but you will slowly get the hang of it.
TIP #1- Make sure you get something for your vote
Immediately after the U.K. left the European Union it was reported that people who had voted in favor of the leave campaign, regretted making that decision. The reason they felt regret was that they did not get anything for their vote. To succeed as Third World citizen you must exchange your vote for basic commodities like flour, sugar or money. This is the key to make sure you do not feel disillusioned or disappointed that the politicians got what they wanted while you’re still stuck in the same place. ALWAYS get something for your vote.
TIP #2- Don’t be shocked if your politicians go back on their words
Recently Donald Trump announced that he now believes that President Obama was born in the US. In the UK the proponents of the leave campaign went back and said that they were not exactly sure what to do after Brexit. Now if you have lived in a Third World country, you will know that politicians promises, especially election promises, are similar to Zimbabwe or Uganda conducting a free and fair election, fiction. Have no expectations and make sure you get something for your vote.
Tip #3- Just complain about the government, don’t try and be a change agent
The key to being a successful third world citizen is to always complain! Even when you have nothing to complain about- which is never- you should still complain. Complaining about the government is a pastime in third world countries, you can’t complain and actually go out and try and change the things you are complaining about. That is not very third world. Forget about petitions. That is merely a waste of paper, nobody will listen to you! Save trees and complain in your heart, your head, to your family, friends, and acquaintances. Don’t forget to complain about how the politicians do nothing even though you voted for them. So long as you get something for your vote you should be fine!
Tip #4- Your airports need to be horrible
This is one of the signs that your country is a developing nation, your airports suck. As Donald Trump and a few Tweeps mentioned, the airports in America are a disgrace. But even though they are shameful, I feel as though America has not reached its full potential yet. There is still some work to be done. Look at Kenya, we already knew that we were a Third World nation but we took it a step further and burned our airport down because it was becoming too First World. For two years we did not even have an international arrivals terminal, we were using a parking garage. We are now back on track to First World status but we already have plans underway (AKA botched elections) to remain Third World... but that's another post for another day!